


You Can Come Over

by chantiemaya



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Drama, Exes, Exes to Lovers, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Romance, Song fic, brandy clark, you can come over
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-24
Updated: 2019-01-01
Packaged: 2019-06-15 11:33:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15412008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chantiemaya/pseuds/chantiemaya
Summary: Trixie is good friends with her ex, but it isn't always easy. Especially when they reminisce over a glass of wine and listen to their old favorite songs.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the song 'You Can Come Over' by Brandy Clark. Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/user/chantiemaya/playlist/58iNwCu05YAvuZk61ROzKU?si=Xya_G6tuRHa-qa6vGR3dWA

K: you home?

T: Almost. What’s up?

K: don’t txt nd drive!! I’m coming over

Trixie sighs, but also rolls her eyes at herself because she isn’t telling her no. She wouldn’t know how to. But she knows what she _should_ do: not let her in. That can never go well, especially because it’s Friday night, and Trixie is in a big mood for a glass of wine, or six, and Katya lives really close, so doesn’t have to drive, and that would… potentially get very complicated.

Coming home, Trixie toes off her heels, leaves the dressy pants and blouse on her bedroom floor and slips into a summer dress. She freshens up a little, brushes her long, blonde hair and fluffs it with her hands, stares at herself in the mirror and mutters that she shouldn’t even be doing this.

When the door in the fence slams closed, Trixie is sitting on the back porch with one bottle of chilled white wine and two glasses, a bowl of chips and her feet up on a second chair. Katya strolls around the corner, still wearing her work pants and safety shoes, but with a clean shirt and wet hair.

Trixie smiles just slightly, and knows it looks tired but doesn’t try harder.

“Hey, gorgeous,” Katya coos, leans down to kiss Trixie’s cheek.

“Hey.”

Katya doesn’t sit down, but paces and lights a cigarette.

“Ok, so there’s this woman at work, right. Yolanda. She gets on my nerves so, so much, like…” Katya stares up at the ceiling of the porch.

“You got a huge spider up there,” she suddenly states, and Trixie pales.

“What, where?”

Katya points, and Trixie has to squint to see it, but it really is fucking huge.

“Oh my god, that is a monster. Oh fuck. I can’t sit here, fuck.”

Trixie gets up from her seat and pulls her chair further away from the spider, sitting in the middle of the porch, several feet from Katya and the table. Katya still doesn’t sit down, just stares at the spider who sits motionless in a corner.

“So yeah, she’s super annoying. She keeps calling me during the day, when I’m driving, and I have to stop every time because we have this policy. I don’t even know why I have the carkit, honestly, because we aren’t allowed to use it.”   
  
Katya pauses again, still staring up at the ceiling, and Trixie shivers.

“What is it? Is it moving?”

“Yeah. He’s on the move.”

“Oh fuck. Can we kill it?”

Katya whips her head around.

“No! Why would you do that?”

“It’s gross!”

Katya stares up, contemplating.

“I’m going to call him Henry.”

“Kat, Jesus, just get rid of him, ew,” Trixie shudders, curling in on herself, and Katya chuckles.

“You’re such a baby. He’s friendly, look! He’s moving around. He wants to be your friend. Hey, Henry!”

Katya sticks out her arm and stands on her tiptoes to wave at the spider as close as she can get - which isn’t very close, because she’s a tiny little thing. Tiny, with a huge mouth, a heart of gold, and a lot of fire inside her.

“We can go inside if you want? Maybe his wife is in there!”

Katya gets excited about this idea, but Trixie just stares at her.

“It’s fine, just continue. What did she call you about?”

Katya looks lost for a moment, then remembers her story.

“Just, stupid things, you know. I was unloading at an address and she calls to ask me at what time I’ll arrive at the next address. She can see that in her computer, like, it’s on her screen! You can see where I am and how long I’ve been there, and if you know anything about your job, you know how long I’m going to take!”

Katya has turned to Trixie now, gesturing with her arms while she talks. She takes a quick sip of wine before talking again.

Katya’s job doesn’t fit her size. She drives around in a box truck delivering materials to building sites; wood beams or plates, concrete mixing bags, complete door structures, and other, relatively small supplies that builders order from the wholesale company she works for. She wears shorts with a lot of pockets, where she carries a box cutter and a tape measure and god knows what else. She wears safety shoes and sometimes a hard hat.

When she’s done ranting, Trixie has still barely said anything, and she pours their second glass of wine. Trixie sees some residual grey streaks on Katya’s arm. She probably just stuck her head under the running water and put on a clean shirt. She probably smells a little sweaty after a long day in her truck and doing manual labor. Trixie feels the wine warming up her cheeks, but her body shivers.

“You’re not cold, are you?”

“Yeah, I’ll get a blanket.”  
  
Trixie purposefully closes the screen door behind her when she steps inside to pick up a crochet blanket from the couch. Katya made it, she realizes when she sits down again and Katya smiles.

“That was the first thing I made for you,” Katya says, pointing at the blanket.

“It’s warm.” It sounds like an excuse, although Trixie doesn’t mean it like that. Katya just smiles harder.

“Are you still seeing what’s-her-name?” Katya still hasn’t sat down, just kind of paces and sways her hips a little as she stands. Trixie knows her lower back might hurt from driving all day.

“Stacy. No.”

“Why?”

Trixie shrugs. She wasn’t actually dating Stacy, it was more of a fling than anything else. But she wanted Katya to believe that it was more than that. To kind of… excuse not seeing her as often, for a while.

“You?”

Katya takes a chair from the other side of the porch and carries it over to finally sit down besides Trixie.

“Nah.”

Trixie feels there’s more, and she presses her lips together to not say anything. Katya digs in one of her many pockets to find her phone and stares at it intently for a moment. Trixie sighs. She knows Katya can’t keep her mind focused on one single thing for a long period of time, but she hoped she would get a chance to rant about work as well.

Trixie still shivers a little, but she freezes when music starts playing. It comes from inside her house, and it grows louder. She looks over at Katya who grins widely and pushes the volume up on her phone. She has connected it to the soundbar in the living room.

‘Stupid Girl’ by Garbage is playing.

“You still have that playlist?”

Katya nods. She looks like a naughty kid, and she kinda is. This is the playlist of 90’s favorites they made together a while ago. A long while ago, when they were still in a serious relationship. They would sing along and dance and get drunk and make out and have sex to these songs.

Trixie’s body is a little wired now. These songs mean something, she has a visceral reaction to them.

 _Don't believe in fear_   
_Don't believe in faith_   
_Don't believe in anything_ _  
That you can't break_

Trixie believed Katya loved her, she believed that their thing was real, but they still broke it. The music and the lyrics hit home and Trixie’s chest tightens every time Shirley Manson sings _you stupid girl_ in her condescending tone.

_Don’t believe in love_   
_Don’t believe in hate_   
_Don’t believe in anything_   
_That you can’t waste_

Trixie clears her throat and sits up in her chair, reaching down to get the wine bottle off the floor. She pours herself another glass, and Katya holds out her glass as well, and the bottle is empty.

There is a moment of silence when the song ends, and Trixie feels awkward, and Katya just stares off into the garden, where dusk is now settling and they can barely see up to the line of trees at the end.

Both of them chuckle when ‘Common People’ by Pulp starts playing, and Katya sort of sing-talks with the words, just like the singer does. Trixie joins in when the chorus starts;

_I want to live like common people,_   
_I want to do whatever common people do,_   
_I want to sleep with common people,_   
_I want to sleep with common people,_   
_Like you_

They both laugh and point at each other with that last line. Katya gets up from her chair when the song erupts into a more danceable tune, and she wiggles around the porch in halted, short motions. They both yell out the chorus, Katya jumping and shaking her head, spilling wine all over her hand.

“Oh my god, you’re such an idiot,” Trixie says, laughing, while Katya wipes her hand on her work shorts.

The song ends and Katya falls back into her chair, laughing breathlessly.

They both wait for what’s next, and it’s ‘Tom’s Diner’ by Suzanne Vega. Their heads bob up and down and Trixie closes her eyes for a moment.

“How was your week?” Katya asks.

Trixie takes a deep breath and shakes her head, then opens her eyes and looks at her friend and ex-lover.

“It wasn’t bad, just… average, I guess. I managed to write a little, which was nice, but that was just one day and then I lost it again.” Trixie waves her hand as if it’s her inspiration flying away.

“Oh, but that’s good! Every little bit counts, right?”

Trixie shrugs.

“I guess it’s good that I wrote something, even if it was barely two thousand words. Work was just super busy and when I come home I’m just… bleh.” Trixie sticks out her tongue and makes a sound.

Trixie works in an office as an administrative assistant. It’s not boring, because she’s always busy with a million different things, but it’s not the most exciting thing in the world, either. She’s usually just mentally worn out when she gets home, which makes it hard to do something creative with her brain, like writing on her novel - or whatever it’s supposed to be.

‘Mr. Jones’ by the Counting Crows starts playing, and Trixie groans out loud.

“Oh no, please skip this one. I’ve heard it a billion times,” she whines.

Katya sings along and dances in her chair. She waits for the chorus to come on before skipping.

“Oh, way to change the mood,” Katya mumbles when ‘Runaway Train’ by Soul Asylum starts. She turns the volume down a little but lets the song play.

“You’ll never guess who I ran into this week,” Trixie suddenly says, perking up in her chair.

“Kurt Cobain?”

“Nope. He’s been dead for a while.”  
  
“Ah shit, yes. Who then?”

“Mrs. Davis.”

Katya gives her a blank stare.

“From school! Kasha Davis!”  
  
“Oh my god! That old hag, she’s still alive?”

Trixie laughs at Katya’s incredulity at this fact.

“Alive and kicking. I ran into her at the big Walmart in the city, she was shopping with her husband. Both retired, looking like all they do is baking in the sun. Her hair is mostly white now. She asked about you.”

“She did? And what were you doing at Walmart, of all places?”

“They had a good sale on this thing I wanted, a grill. It was sold out, but anyway, she asked if we were still together.” Trixie rolls her eyes when she says this.

It was a bit of a shock that her high school drama teacher somehow remembered the fact that Trixie was secretly a lesbian and secretly made out with Katya in the bathrooms. They’d ran into enough former classmates over the years that most of them now knew, or admitted they’d already suspected something, but she never considered the teachers. Turns out Mrs. Davis knew and supported it. She grabbed Trixie’s arm where they stood in the store and told her she’d been ready to stand up for them if needed. Luckily, nothing ever happened and they graduated without any big drama of people finding out and bullying them.

“What did you say? We’re married with three kids and four dogs? And two cats. And we live on a farm, I’m a painter and you’re a writer. I mean, I’d paint houses, not paintings, obviously.”  
  
“Obviously. I told her that we were still friends.” Trixie shrugs.

She doesn’t want to admit that she kind of blurted out to Mrs Davis that it had been a long and complicated relationship but that it’s now over. And that Mrs. Davis had raised her eyebrow and asked Trixie is she was sure, and that Trixie had stumbled and blushed and tried to keep her composure.

It’s been thirteen years since high school. They both turned thirty-one this summer, and Trixie feels a slight pressure to nail the whole adult situation - to keep a steady job, live in a nice house, have a serious relationship and produce children. She has a job. She’s been there for a while and it looks like they will prolong her contract. She inherited this house from her stepfather when it was already paid off. So she’s doing good in those areas, although she doesn’t see the house as an accomplishment. It was an opportunity that fell in her lap, and she took it.

“I never thought the teachers knew anything,” Katya muses. “They all seemed so… completely out of touch with the teenagers. Like, oblivious.”

She downs the last bit of her whine and gets up.

“Just gonna use your bathroom,” Katya says and points at the door. She waits for Trixie to nod.

Katya knows Trixie doesn’t want her inside the house. It’s a weird, unspoken rule between them. We can be friends, but we can’t be inside together, because we might jump each other’s bones and it will be a hurt fest.

A mutual friend once asked Trixie why they didn’t just do the friends with benefits thing, and Trixie couldn’t answer that. It just didn’t work, it always ended in drama. Katya was all over the place, couldn’t remember appointments or agreements, wasn’t good at listening, sometimes a little manic, and Trixie expected stability, and partnership, and both pulling their weight when it came to chores around the house.

Trixie looks up when the screen door opens and Katya sticks her head out.

“Do you have food? I’m starving.”  
  
“There might be some pasta in the fridge. And bring more wine!”

A moment later, while ‘Loser’ from Beck plays, Trixie hears some whining from inside.

“Help! Trix!”

Trixie finds Katya halfway between the kitchen and the screen door, carrying several plastic containers and a heavy bottle of wine, but she can’t hold it and the boxes that she secured under her chin have slipped. Trixie catches them just in time, and they both giggle as they stumble outside.

“Oh god, I probably shouldn’t, but sure,” Katya laughs when Trixie holds up the wine.

“Do you want something? You have two different pastas and a salad, and I don’t know what this is,” Katya says, opening the containers one by one.

“This is Alfredo, that’s… green pesto or something. It’s good.”

They eat the cold pasta and the salad and talk about high school, memories brought back of Mrs. Davis’ drama class. The fourth container stays untouched because it smells suspicious.

When the second bottle of wine is nearly empty, Trixie is standing on the porch dancing to ‘Motorcycle Emptiness’ by The Manic Street Preachers. She has no idea what these lyrics mean, but the music is just so beautiful she feels it in her soul.

Both women fall silent when the next song starts, ‘Don’t Speak’ by No Doubt.

_You and me_   
_We used to be together_   
_Everyday together always_   
_I really feel_   
_That I'm losing my best friend_   
_I can't believe_   
_This could be the end_   
_It looks as though you're letting go_   
_And if it's real_   
_Well I don't want to know_

Katya stares at Trixie, willing her to look her in the eye. Trixie sways a little drunkenly over the porch, turns her back to Katya and leans against a support beam. She drinks the last of her wine and lets the song wash over her.

She jumps when Katya is suddenly right there beside her, barefoot and silent now that she’s taken off her big boots.

“Are you ok?”

Katya rubs her hand on Trixie’s arm, it’s cool and rough and it makes Trixie shiver. She takes a gasping breath and a sob comes out and she can’t control it. Katya just looks at her in shock, her blue eyes big, pupils blown in the now pitch black darkness of the garden.

“I’m sorry,” Trixie says, trying to chuckle through her tears. “Just the wine.”

Trixie looks down at Katya and smiles. Katya’s hand comes up and wipes at Trixie’s tears on her cheeks.

“You _are_ still my best friend, right?” Katya asks, her voice gentle and soft. It makes Trixie’s heart jump.

“Always,” Trixie answers. Katya nods and smiles. Then she weavers her arms under Trixie’s and attaches herself to her body in a hug. It’s a wave of closeness for Trixie, welcome and overwhelming at the same time. Katya is small, but very strong, and Trixie has always felt she’s the stronger one out of both of them. Not just physically, but in every possible way. So hugging Katya close, her head tucked under Trixie’s chin, Trixie feels consoled and protected. Safe.

Gwen Stefani closes the song with _hush, hush, darling, don’t tell me ‘cause it hurts._

Trixie realises it does hurt. It hurts that she and Katya lost what they had, it hurts extra because they lost it several times along the way - when college started and they couldn’t do long distance, when they still tried to reconnect and had to say horribly dramatic goodbyes every time, when Katya went silent for months and Trixie worried like crazy, and later found Katya in a rehab facility. When Katya met a guy and decided she was no longer a lesbian. When Katya came back crying, but Trixie was already seeing someone else. Every time they had sex spontaneously and then felt bad about it.

Katya’s hands are both on Trixie’s back, caressing her in hypnotising circles while her head rests on Trixie’s bosom. They’ve been standing like this for minutes probably, Trixie doesn’t know because the alcohol is fogging up her brain.

“I think I need to get some sleep,” Trixie whispers.

Katya loosens herself from her, looking rumpled and sleepy and very cute, and she gives a short nod and a smile. She walks back to her chair and starts putting on her shoes.

Katya’s body stiffens and she stops tying her shoe for a short second when ‘Creep’ by Radiohead starts playing. Trixie’s head whips around to look at Katya and her heart clenches - this is Katya’s song. She used to identify with this a lot when they were in high school. She always felt like she was too weird to hang out with Trixie, that she was ugly and boring and creepy for liking Trixie from a distance. She told Trixie all this when high school ended and they spent the summer together before Trixie went to college and Katya found a job at the local grocery store. She took a year off before she also went to college, which didn’t turn out well and had her end up in rehab.

_Whatever makes you happy_   
_Whatever you want_   
_You're so fuckin' special_   
_I wish I was special_

Katya sings the lyrics to Trixie, and Trixie can see her eyes shining with tears, and she just tries to convey her support through a gentle smile. Katya breaks the connection of her phone to the speaker before the song ends.

Trixie walks Katya to the door in the fence, the automatic light flickering on when they pass. They hug shortly and tell each other goodnight, and Trixie locks the door behind Katya. Her heart is heavy, and her stomach is upset, her head already hurts from the wine, and there are dried tears on her cheeks. She rubs her hands over her face and walks back around the house.

When she looks at the mess on the table, the wine bottles, one empty, one half empty, and the blanket, Trixie’s throat constricts. There’s a big hole inside her, and Katya belongs there. She already knew that, but she just accepted that it was always going to be like this.

Trixie needs two hurried trips to the kitchen to clear up all the mess while she tries to calm down. She’s not sure why these emotions are hitting her so hard now. It’s nothing new, this evening, reminiscing with Katya… although she didn’t know Katya had kept that playlist. They hadn’t listened to it in ages, years maybe.

Trixie’s heartbeats turn painful when she makes a sudden decision and stuffs her feet in flip flops. She throws the blanket over her shoulders, picks up her keys and phone and runs out of the house, slamming the front door behind her. It’s been probably ten minutes since Katya left, and that’s long enough for her to get home if she walks as fast as she normally does. But Trixie soon realises Katya isn’t walking fast, when she runs out of her street and turns a corner and sees a small figure in the distance.

“Katya!” Trixie yells, she has no shame, and she sprints over in the stupid flip flops.

Katya turns around, walks back to stand under a street light, and Trixie sees how she roughly wipes the back of her hand over her eyes. Coming closer, Trixie hears the music playing on Katya’s phone speaker; ‘I Want To Know What Love Is’ by Foreigner.

They stare at each other, Katya is crying and she looks confused, Trixie is in shock, and she’s shaking, and she’s unsure.

“What are you doing?” Katya’s voice shakes when she talks.

“I… I miss you.”

Katya frowns and Trixie pulls the blanket tighter around her.

“I don’t know,” Trixie whispers, and she takes the two steps that were left between them. “I just, I… I can’t…”

She can’t say it, her brain refuses to work in this moment, so Trixie just acts. She puts her hands on Katya’s upper arms and leans in to kiss her. She does it so quickly, Katya has no time to respond, to maybe refuse, and she gasps when their lips touch. Katya’s hands grab at the blanket, holding Trixie close, as their lips press together and nip at each other. Katya’s tongue slides over Trixie’s lips and both hold their breath when they deepen it.

“What the fuck is going on,” Katya breathes when she breaks the kiss. Her hands move to Trixie’s face, rubbing over her cheeks, pushing her hair away. “What are you doing?” she asks again.

“I miss you. There’s a big hole inside me and you belong there.”

A new song starts on Katya’s phone, but she quickly stops it.

“You wanna try again?” Katya still looks puzzled. Trixie gets it - they tried so many times, and one of them always gave up at some point, and it was usually Trixie.

“There is no try.” Trixie says it with a gleam in her eye, and Katya laughs.

“Do, or do not,” Katya answers and nods.

“Stay with me?” Trixie asks, holding Katya so close they both have to tilt their heads to make eye contact.

“If you’re sure?”

“I’m not. But I can’t… just play me another song.”

They walk back to Trixie’s house, arms around each other, sharing the blanket, while Katya plays ‘Every You And Every Me’ by Placebo on her phone, not too loud so they won’t disturb any neighbours.

The house is already completely dark, and they stumble up the stairs together, giggling and tripping. Trixie’s bedroom is a mess of clothes, both dirty and clean, shoes and accessories everywhere. She pushes a pile of clean towels off the side of the bed and straightens the comforter.

“Sorry about the mess.”

“Can I take a shower?” Katya asks while taking off her boots. “I probably stink.”

“Can I join you?”

Katya stares at Trixie, how she smiles coyly, swaying a little on her feet.

They undress, and it’s a little awkward but familiar at the same time. Katya runs the shower and gets in. She soaks her hair and body before Trixie joins, and they switch places.

They know each other’s naked bodies probably as well as they know their own. They were each other’s first kiss, first date, first time to have sex, first everything. They explored all of that together, and formed an unbreakable bond through the years.

They kiss long and slow while standing under the stream of water, their hands rubbing soft shower gel over each other’s bodies. Katya’s hands linger on Trixie’s full ass for a long time, until she’s felt every curve and dip that she’s had to miss for a while.

They get into Trixie’s bed completely naked and cuddle up, limbs entangled, mouths searching for each other.

“I felt so safe when you hugged me,” Trixie whispers, her mouth on the side Katya’s neck.

“Like we belong.” Katya’s voice is raspy and her breath is elevated.

“Yes. That.”

Katya’s hand is on the hollow of Trixie’s back, and she pushes her close, keeps holding her like that while they kiss. There’s a possessiveness to that touch that Trixie recognises and it gives her goosebumps. Katya wraps a leg around Trixie’s hip, and Trixie pushes her thigh against Katya’s pussy to feel how wet she is. Katya rides against Trixie’s thigh, moaning and whining into her mouth.

“Baby…” Katya whispers against Trixie’s lips. Trixie pushes Katya’s wet hair away from her warm face and grabs her jaw.

“Tell me.”  
  
“I… I need it. So bad,” Katya whispers brokenly, panting and swaying her hips into Trixie harder, rubbing her pussy over her thigh. It’s slippery with her juices now.

Trixie’s grip on Katya’s jaw gets stronger. She knows exactly how to manhandle Katya the way she likes, that it turns her on when Trixie is a little rough, when she takes control and positions Katya exactly how she likes.

“Lie back, spread your legs,” Trixie whispers in Katya’s ear. Katya scrambles to comply, her chest gleaming with sweat.

Trixie rolls on top of her, rolling her body against Katya’s smaller frame, rubbing her pussy against hers. She holds her arms above her head with strong hands, staring into her eyes up close, denying her the kisses she wants. Trixie’s clit is swollen and sensitive, and it rubs against Katya’s clit and her lips, their juices blending together.

Trixie knows Katya is close, she knows the whimpers, the pants, the frown on her face and when she stops begging for kisses. She stops her grinding and lets go of one of Katya’s arms to push her fingers inside her. Katya moans loudly, her hips shaking, and Trixie fucks her harder. Katya’s body goes rigid and she holds her breath when the orgasm takes over and shivers through her, and Trixie keeps moving until Katya goes slack and lowers her ass back to the bed.

Katya’s chest is heaving with her deep breaths. Trixie lies beside her, one leg slung over Katya’s hip, and she runs her hand all over Katya’s warm body. She’s very fit and has defined muscles, but somehow she still looks feminine and has good hips, a small but round ass, and perky, cute breasts.

Katya turns to Trixie to kiss her, and she whispers all kinds of horny sweet things, most of which Trixie understands. They giggle and cuddle, and Katya’s hand wanders off between Trixie’s legs.

“So wet,” Katya whispers with her lips on Trixie’s chin.

“We blended,” says Trixie with a grin, pushing her hips into Katya’s hand.

“Yeah, we did. I bet it tastes really good.”

Trixie just nods, and she watches as Katya pulls her hand up and licks one of her fingers.

“Don’t tease me,” Trixie whines, pressing her body closer against Katya.

“Since when don’t you want to be teased?” Katya asks, feigning shock, and then pushes Tixie to roll them over and be on top of her.

Katya teases Trixie’s nipples first, sucking on them one by one, swirling her tongue around, making Trixie even more impatient and whiny. Then Katya shuffles down Trixie’s body until she’s eye to eye with her pussy, and she bites Trixie’s juicy thigh, and the other, and again. She kisses and sucks on the flesh of her thigh long enough to leave a few hickeys before moving on to eating Trixie out.

Katya is a master at eating Trixie, she knows exactly what she likes and doesn’t like, what will keep her on edge and what will push her over, what will bore her and what will piss her off. It’s been a while, but she’s confident her tricks are still going to work. And they do.

Trixie huffs and pants and squirms under Katya, trying to push her pussy into her face, trying to get her to lick her in a certain way. Katya has put one arm over Trixie’s belly to keep her steady, her other hand is now teasing Trixie’s labia, running a finger up and down and around her entrance, while her tongue is licking circles around her clit. She’s very gentle and makes very small, soft movements to drive her crazy.

Katya inserts two fingers into Trixie’s pussy. She’s so wet, Katya’s fingers going in makes juice gush out. Katya thrusts her fingers inside, making sure to curl her fingers up to search for that little ridged bump she used to love so much.

And there it is. Katya rubs her fingers against Trixie’s G-spot, making her shiver just in anticipation alone.

“Katya, fuck. Don’t make a mess,” Trixie pants. Her voice is so breathy and broken, it makes Katya grin with satisfaction.

“What do you mean, a mess?” Katya looks up to see Trixie’s face. Her fingers now pull rather than push, stimulating that little bump as best as she can.

“Babe, I… fuck…” Trixie is mumbling unintelligibly and Katya feels her cheeks glow with pride. She did that. She’s doing that. She’s turning this beautiful women into a complete mess.

Somewhere in the back of her hazy, horny mind, Trixie worries about the bedsheets. But Katya then puts her mouth on her pussy again, licking her _just_ right, and she just can’t care anymore.

“Do it,” Tixie whispers. “Do it, I’m close.”

Katya keeps licking Trixie’s clit in a steady movement, putting more pressure on her now, and her fingers pull harder and faster. She has to brace herself against the bed to be able to stand Trixie’s squirming and bucking, and then she hears her gasps and deep moaning. Trixie’s hips come off the bed, and Katya attaches her lips to her clit to suck on it, while Trixie bucks and squirts a warm stream of juices from her pussy. Katya removes her hand to give way to the fluids, and when Trixie’s hips come down, she inserts her fingers again and repeats her movements. Trixie lets out a short scream and squirts again. Katya has stopped licking her and Trixie roughly rubs her fingers over her clit while Katya keeps fingering her, to squirt one last little stream.

Katya’s arm is drenched, the foot of the bed has been splashed and the comforter definitely needs to be washed, but first, Katya lies on top of Trixie and holds her close, kissing her face gently.

“I’ve missed you so much,” Katya whispers. “I can’t be like this with anyone but you.”  
  
“Same.” Trixie smiles and hugs Katya close.

It’s probably closer to morning than midnight when they clean themselves off with wet washcloths and then change the bedsheets together. They sleep completely naked, with Trixie as the big spoon, her arm slung over Katya and crossed over her chest.


	2. I want to know what love is

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trixie takes care of Katya when she gets the flu.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My awesome friend Lulufeca loves hurt/comfort stories, so I started on this ages ago. I only finished it just now.  
> Hope you like it Lulu! I threw in some drama, cos who doesn't like drama ;)

Trixie is surprised when her phone vibrates with an incoming call and it’s Katya, and she steps away from her desk to answer it.

“Hello?”

“Baby, hi. What time are you done working?” 

Katya’s voice is rough and a little distant. Trixie checks the time - it’s nearly half past four. 

“Probably about an hour or so. What’s going on? Are you ok?” 

“Can you pick me up from work? I got sick. My boss doesn’t want me to drive,” Katya clears her throat and it sounds like she’s swallowed barbed wire.

“Oh my god, babe! What happened? It just came up?”

Katya coughs again, holding the phone away from her face, and Trixie hears her sniffing. 

“I’m sorry, I’m gross. I felt a little tickle in my throat this morning but it wasn’t too bad. But now it’s like… full blown.” She takes a deep breath through her mouth and sighs, and then her voice sounds really soft and small. “Can you please come get me? I feel so shitty.”

“Of course, sweetie. I’m gonna finish up real fast and then I’ll be right there!”

Trixie walks right to her boss’ office and halts in front of the door.

“Don’t rush, I’ll wait until you’re done,” Katya hurries to say.

“It’s ok. Just take it easy. Text me the address, ok? I’ll be there real soon.”

When Katya hangs up, Trixie’s whole body is wired and ready to leave work and care for her sick girlfriend. She opens her boss’ office door after a short knock.

“Asia? I have to leave early because something came up. I’ll make up next week, ok?”

“Sure thing. Is everything ok?”

“Yes, it’s just… yeah.”

Trixie thanks her boss and closes the door, then hurries to finish the email she was typing when Katya called. She informs her colleagues before she rushes out the door, speeding a little to get to the address that Katya texted her. 

The place is a little way out of town, but not too big of a detour to the area where they both live. It’s a huge warehouse where she has to drive in one way, go around the building to the back, and then drive out on the other side. There’s a long row of loading docks, most of them closed and unoccupied, and a small figure lies on one of them. Her legs are hanging down and she’s slung an arm over her face. She’s wearing a big jacket with her shorts, and Trixie shakes her head. September is almost over, and her favorite idiot is still wearing shorts.

Trixie honks and parks right beside the dock. Katya sits up slowly and squints, then smiles and jumps off the dock before Trixie can get out of her car. 

“Babe… is it a cold?” Trixie hugs Katya, then opens the door on the passenger side of her car to let her in. Katya just coughs and shrugs. 

In the car, Trixie holds the back of her hand against Katya’s cheek - it’s red and warm. 

“You’re burning up. I’m taking you to my place.”

“Ah, baby, you don’t have to do that,” Katya mumbles, fumbling with the seatbelt. Her jacket is so big and thick, she can’t see what she’s doing. 

Trixie doesn’t reply, she’s watching out for a truck that’s coming up behind her, and then drives away from the lot. In spite of Katya’s objections, Trixie takes her to her own place to put her in bed. She helps her take off her clunky shoes, shorts with pencils and a box cutter falling to the floor, and then Trixie decides that Katya needs a clean shirt to sleep in. She digs in her dresser until she finds her favorite oversized pajamas with long sleeves, and a pair of leggings to go with them. 

Katya is shivering in just her panties, and accepts the clothes with more coughing and sighing. It’s hard to breathe with how stuffed her lungs feel, and every time she tries to take a deep breath, it tickles her throat and she coughs up mucus. 

“Can I get your fluffy socks too?” Katya asks, sitting on the edge of the bed with those big blues staring up at Trixie. 

Trixie smiles and rummages through the dresser again, finding the thick socks Katya means. Once she’s all bundled up and under the covers, Trixie gets her a box of tissues and leaves to make tea. 

While waiting for the water to boil, Trixie kicks off her shoes and puts them away, then goes around the living room to tidy up a little. She pours two mugs of Pukka Relax tea with chamomile and fennel and adds a big spoon of honey to Katya’s mug. She brings a packet of digestives in case her patient wants to eat something, and carefully brings everything upstairs. She can already hear a horrible cough before she’s there, and finds Katya burrowed under the covers like a bear in winter - just a little tuft of hair is sticking out. 

“You awake? I have some tea for you,” Trixie says softly. 

Katya sits up, shivering, her cheeks red and her eyes droopy. 

“So shitty,” she whispers, shaking her head, accepting the mug gratefully. 

Trixie quickly changes from her work clothes into comfortable sweats and joins Katya on the bed, sitting cross-legged beside her. She reaches out to push Katya’s hair away from her face. 

“Your hand is cool,” Katya says. “It’s nice.” She closes her eyes under Trixie’s touch, who then presses her knuckles against Katya’s overheated cheek. 

After drinking the tea in silence, Katya is half asleep, and Trixie pulls the covers over her again. 

Back downstairs, Trixie cleans up the kitchen and starts to prepare dinner, a simple potato casserole, a salad, and some chicken wings that she seasons and bakes in the oven. Katya sleeps when it’s time for dinner, and Trixie lets her. She puts the leftovers in the fridge. 

After dinner, Trixie feels worried and checks on her girlfriend again, finding her shivering in a mountain of blankets. Apparently, she’s gotten up to get an extra blanket from the dresser, but she’s still cold. Her face is bright red and her hair wet with sweat. 

“Oh baby, your fever is so bad,” Trixie says. She sits next to the bed and strokes back Katya’s hair. 

Katya sniffs and nods. 

“My body… hurts. Everything hurts. My head. My feet.”

Trixie gets a big glass of water and supports Katya to sit up and drink some, and she brings a wet washcloth to cool off her face. 

“Oh, that’s good,” Katya sighs when Trixie puts the washcloth on her neck. She drops her chin to her chest and lets Trixie rub the wet cloth her neck, through her hair and down to the top of her back and shoulders.

“Do you want some Tylenol? Maybe you’ll feel less shaky?” Trixie suggests. 

Katya sighs, and looks down at the blanket, her body slightly trembling against Trixie. 

“I… don’t think I should.” She looks up then, bleary-eyed and unsure, and Trixie realizes she’s close to crying. 

“What? Why not?” Trixie wraps her arm around Katya, pulling her close, and this brings on the tears for real. 

“I don’t wanna take pills,” Katya mumbles against Trixie’s sweater. 

It takes a moment for Trixie to connect the dots - Katya’s rehab stint in college. She was using prescription drugs and nearly lost her mind. She hugs her closer, rubbing her back, rocking her back and forth. 

“You really think it’s not ok? Just one?”

Katya shakes her head against Trixie, coughs painfully and loosens the embrace to take some tissues and clean her face. She blows her nose and drops the tissues on the floor beside the bed. 

“I’m sorry. I don’t wanna bother you, you can just take me home,” Katya whispers, sniffing and blinking slowly. 

“Absolutely not,” Trixie says resolutely. She gets up from the bed and fluffs up the blankets, folding them around Katya’s little body again. 

“I’m gonna go to the drugstore and get you some alternative stuff. They have these drops that drive out the fever, it really helps. Just try to sleep, and I’ll be right back.”   
  
Katya tries to complain, but Trixie kisses her heated forehead and leaves. 

*

After a horrific night, Katya wakes halfway the morning feeling sort of human again. She’d taken the drops Trixie got for her, about ten to twenty drops with a sip of water, every couple of hours. When she sits up in the bed, her head spins, her whole respiratory system is clogged up with mucus, and her muscles feel tired and achy. But she’s no longer shivering. The dread of fever has left her body. 

She takes a slow, careful trip to the bathroom, then leaves the room and shuffles down the stairs in Trixie’s fluffy socks, clutching the big sweater she found beside bed around her body. 

“Trixie?” 

Katya’s voice sounds like she feels, gruff and stuffy and tired, and there is no answer. The house is empty. She goes to the kitchen to make herself some tea and rummages around to find saltines. 

When Trixie comes home with groceries, Katya is sleeping on the couch under one of her own crocheted blankets and with the TV on a low volume. Trixie drops her bags on the kitchen counter before gently sitting down next to her sick girl. She’s wearing an old sweater, one that Trixie had chucked on the floor to be washed. 

Katya’s breath halts in her throat, she coughs, and then she wakes up, dazed and bleary-eyed. 

“Hey, beautiful,” Trixie coos. She rakes her hand through Katya’s messy bob, and it makes her smile. 

“Hey. Were you shopping?” 

Katya rubs her hands over her face and sits up, closing her eyes for a moment until her head stops spinning.

“Yeah. Are you hungry?”

Katya frowns. 

“Not really. I ate a few saltines but they didn’t taste like anything.” She shrugs and sighs, immediately coughing again. 

“So you’re not feeling better yet?” Trixie moves closer on the couch so that she can hold Katya against her, running her fingers through her hair. 

“Now I do,” Katya whispers. 

Trixie makes them more tea and gets Katya’s drops from upstairs, and also feeds her some vitamins. They sit on the couch for a while, watching a movie, but Katya falls asleep with her head in Trixie’s lap and her fingers in her hair. Trixie is taken aback by Katya’s resigned attitude - she usually hates it when people try to take care of her, even her girlfriend. It had been a longstanding issue between them before they decided to try again.  _ There is no try _ … Well, before  _ now _ , Trixie tells her inner voice. She looks at Katya’s face, her eyes are puffy and her cheeks are red, but she’s still beautiful. It’s a shame her eyes are closed so Trixie can’t look into those pools of light, vibrant blue that she loves so much. 

Trixie’s heart flutters.  _ I love her _ . She hasn’t told her yet, not since last week when they had amazing spontaneous sex. She’s been holding off, because she doesn’t want to put any pressure on Katya - or on herself, for that matter. And now it’s been a week, and all they’ve been doing is send each other cute texts, have dinner together and kiss each other goodbye at the front door. 

Katya sleeps through most of the weekend, but she’s getting better. When Trixie comes home from work on Monday evening, Katya sits on the couch with wet hair and one of Trixie’s clean sweaters. 

“Oh wow, look at her, all cleaned up,” Trixie says as she walks in. Katya’s smile is big and shy, and she shrugs, pulling her hands up into the too long sleeves. 

Trixie kicks off her heels and crawls over the couch to press her nose against Katya’s damp hair.

“You smell lovely. Can I kiss you now?”

“I think you’re safe,” Katya croaks out. Her voice is still a little hoarse, and there’s a lingering dry cough, but the fever is gone and her head is no longer spinning. 

She scoots closer to Trixie and rests her head on the back of the couch, then purses her lips. Trixie chuckles before leaning over and kissing her lips, gently, slowly nipping. She has her eyes closed until Katya’s hand comes to her cheek, pushing her away. Katya pulls her head up and coughs roughly. 

“Sorry, I’m still a little gross,” she chuckles. 

“Lucky I like you,” Trixie says and lands a quick peck on Katya’s cheek. “I’m gonna take a quick shower, I’ll be right back.”

_ It’s past eleven pm when Trixie wakes with a shock. There was a loud noise, but she instantly forgets what it was when she hears Pete calling her name in the other room.  _

_ “Hey, I’m here, are you ok?” Trixie says, leaning over Pete’s bed and flicking on the little light beside it. _

_ “I heard a noise, I thought you went out,” he mutters sleepily.  _

_ “I’m not going anywhere, you know that.” Trixie takes the hand he holds out to her. _

_ They both hear the noise again, and it comes from downstairs. Someone is at their front door, rapping on it fast, and a voice calls out for Trixie.  _

_ She sighs, agitated, squeezes Pete’s hand lightly.  _

_ “It’s Katya, she’s late again. I’m not gonna let her in this time.” _

_ Trixie kisses her stepdad’s forehead and stomps out of the room. _

_ “Trix!” He calls out loud and short before she’s out the door. “Go easy on her, baby. She’s a good girl.”  _

_ Trixie smiles, but it’s fake, and she hopes Pete doesn’t notice in the dim light of the hallway. _

_ Trixie hurries down the stairs in her pajamas, shivering when her bare feet touch the cold hardwood floor of the living room. She opens the door and steps outside. Katya sits on the porch in grandma’s old rocking chair but shoots up immediately.  _

_ “Trix, I’m so sorry, I-” _

_ “Stop, I’m too angry to talk. Just go home.” Trixie’s voice is a snarl and Katya cowers a little. _

_ “But I wanna-” _

_ “I don’t wanna know, Katya! Goodnight!”  _

_ “Trixie!”  _

_ Katya knocks on the door again when Trixie closes it behind her, and Trixie turns around and speaks through the door. _

_ “You woke up Pete and he needs to sleep. Go away!”  _

_ Katya’s hands fall by her sides and she watches Trixie walk away into the darkness of the house.  _

_ “But I forgot my keys,” she whispers.  _

_ The house is silent and dark, and Katya stands on the porch alone. _

Katya knows the scenes from her dream really happened, although some of her memories are a little blurry. A lot has happened between them, and they have buried most of it without ever talking it out. Katya has been thinking about this all week long and kept telling herself it wasn’t the right time… but is it ever? What’s the right time to bring up painful memories from the past and tell someone you’re sorry? What’s the right time to hurt someone you love? She’s pretty sure the memories are going to be painful for Trixie, but Katya wants to bring it back so they can make sure it won’t happen again. 

Trixie grew up with an alcoholic mother who neglected her. It got better when she married Pete, Trixie’s last and favorite stepdad, although he couldn’t stop her from drinking herself to death. Pete and Trixie stayed in the house together, even when she finished college and found a job. He got cancer not long after, and she took care of him until he died. He had always accepted Katya as a second daughter and made her feel welcome, but Katya and Trixie’s relationship had been rocky and difficult. Katya was, and still is, chaotic and unfocused. Her brain is messy, which makes her often zone out and lose track of time. It was an endless point of frustration between them, leading to the situation that Katya dreamed about. She ended up spending the cold and rainy night in the rocking chair on the porch, and Trixie found her there the next morning. 

“I had a dream about the night I slept on the porch,” Katya says when they’re finishing up dinner. Trixie always finishes before Katya, who chews slowly and talks and gets distracted. 

Trixie looks up from her empty plate and stares at Katya with wide eyes. 

“I know it’s not something we wanna remember, but… I wanna talk about it.”

“Ok,” Trixie says softly and nods. She looks unsure, but there’s also this sort of shadow that can sometimes pass over her face as if she visibly puts up her guard. 

There are still a few bites of food on Katya’s plate, and she moves it around with her fork while she talks. 

“I hope you know that… that’s not me anymore. I have tried really hard to get better at things, setting alarms on my phone, writing things down in my calendar. I really, really don’t want to take any pills, but if you feel I should get on something to keep my brain on track… then I can try.”

When Katya looks at Trixie her face is so open, and scared, and Trixie feels a stab in her gut. Katya’s face is still pale from the flu, and she looks so small and apologetic. It stirs a lot of emotion in Trixie, and she can’t help the tears rolling down her cheeks. 

“I’m so sorry,” Trixie blurts out in a sea of tears, her shoulders shaking under her sobs. “I’m so sorry about that night,” she adds, now wailing. 

Katya is shocked at this reaction, and she gets up from her chair to walk around the table and put her arm around Trixie. Katya sits down on her knees beside Trixie’s chair and tries to hold her. 

“Baby, it’s ok. It’s a long time ago,” Katya whispers. 

“It’s not ok,” Trixie shakes her head. She turns in her chair and grabs Katya’s hand. “I never apologized, and I should have. Pete scolded me for letting you sleep outside, but I didn’t know! I didn’t know you were out there.”   
  
“I know. You couldn’t have known.”   
  
“Because I didn’t listen to you,” Trixie chokes out on a sob. She leans forward and pulls Katya close. “I’m so sorry. I promise I’m not going to be like that anymore.”

Katya nods with her face against Trixie’s bosom. She gets up from her position on the floor and takes Trixie’s hand to pull her to the couch. They sit down, Katya’s arm around Trixie, their hands entwined. 

“We have to prevent these things from happening again,” Katya says. “We have to talk, we have to tell each other what we want. I can’t fulfill your expectations if you don’t tell me what they are.”

Trixie nods. Her sobbing is less intense now. 

“I will, I promise. I don’t want to lose you again.”   
  
Katya smiles and reaches out to dry Trixie’s tears with the sleeve of her sweater. 

“You have to be honest and open with me, and I have to use all my little tricks to keep myself on track.”

“Your therapy has helped a lot, I know you’re doing much better. I just have to let go of my old… worries?” Trixie says. 

“Old habits, right?” Katya says with a smile. “We can do it, babe. I know we can.” 

They smile at each other, and then Trixie puts her hand on Katya’s cheek, stroking it. 

“I love you,” Trixie whispers. Katya’s jaw drops, then her lips form a smile again.

“I feel like I only now know what that means,” Katya says. “I love you too.”


End file.
